The Nights Were Young Page 9

  Marie’s stomach twisted. The noise of the party was fading, fading to a quiet buzz while tears trickled into Marie’s blue eyes. Her hands were sweating, her finger felt swollen under the band of the engagement ring; it was tight enough to turn the skin red. She would not bear it. She would not suffer silently. She would stay silent, but the suffering would be helped.

  She snuck away back into the bedroom and locked the door behind her. She stumbled quickly back into the closet and retrieved the whiskey bottle. She sipped and leaned against the wall. She could see in her bedroom a few pictures of her and James along the nightstand and dresser. For a split second she believed there was a different man’s face next to hers in one of the photographs, but it could not be. For a split second she believed there was a way to call him on the phone and he would come and stay with her, and they would be out of place together.

  She glanced at the dresser and its bottom drawer, and glancing at it deserved another sip of whiskey.

  She looked back at the picture and saw James’s face next to hers, and she shook back into the reality of the way things truly were now; she remembered the way the past truly happened.

  XII

  Colder weather arrived upon Crossfalls. Autumn had come. The wind cooled and the leaves fell. The season brought on the first football games, and the pep rallies, and the school spirit signs, and other things Marie wasn’t a part of.

  She had seen Travis in the halls days after the incident at his home, strutting confidently and smacking on gum like always, though he seemed to be forcing the confidence lately. He would catch her eye and then dart into another hall or make like he was talking to someone. She wanted to talk to him, but he was good at avoiding her, and it took more than a few tries.

  She sent him a text message that simply read, “Hey”, to which he never responded.

  She finally caught him in the hall the next week. She spotted him talking to a bubble gum smacking red-head who still chose to wear shorts, which were too short, despite the weather. As she approached them she saw him performing his cheesy smile on her, leaning cool against the wall and touching her chin.

  “Travis,” Marie said.

  He saw her and the bravado vanished. He looked away.

  “Who are you?” the red-head asked, annoyed that Marie was there.

  Marie ignored her and asked Travis, “Can I please talk to you?”

  Travis waited a moment and finally nodded. “I gotta go,” he said to the girl and followed Marie down the hall.

  “Hey text me!” the red head called after him.

  “Who is that?” Marie asked.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Please stop saying that,” Marie begged.

  She got in front of him and did her best to make eye contact.

  He kept looking at the water fountain or the wall or anything else but her.

  “I’m sorry for upsetting you the other day,” she said.

  “I wasn’t upset,” he said quickly.

  “Okay, then I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”

  He put his head down and grunted, “I wasn’t… I wasn’t embarrassed, all right? I don’t get embarrassed. You just, showed up on a bad day. That’s all.”

  “Okay. Well I’m sorry about it.”

  They paused. Travis was still not making eye contact.

  “You know,” she said. “It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care where you live.”

  “Whatever, Marie. You were right. We’re just different people,” he said, finally looking at her. He stared at her for a moment, and then suddenly, and probably by conscious choice, he shook his head and his expression changed from sad to apathetic. He smirked and said casually, “You’re too boring for me anyway.”

  He turned and started walking away.

  Marie’s eyes widened and she charged after him. She grabbed his arm and swung him around.

  “I am not boring,” she said sternly.

  Travis laughed. “Well you’re definitely not under-sensitive.”

  “You don’t know me, Travis. You don’t know what I do.”

  “Probably a lot of homework, and college applications that your parents bug you about. Am I right? ‘Cause that’s the impression I got when we got coffee, remember?”

  He waited with a smirk on his face.

  Marie stepped closer to him and spoke lowly, “Yeah that’s what I do, so maybe I’m not your type – some tramp that’s puts out on a first date.”

  He got closer to her face. “Yeah, ‘because that’s all I’m into – sluts that give me what I want.”

  “At least you finally admit it.” She moved closer to him.

  Then they were quiet, just glaring at each other, inches apart. They could feel each other’s breath on their lips.

  A teacher walked by and scolded them, “Hey, make out on your own time. Go to class.”

  They looked around and realized the world was still turning. Marie saw Travis’s cheeks were red when they backed away from one another.

  “You don’t get embarrassed huh?” she asked.

  He touched his face. “Shut up.” He started walking away, saying, “You probably still want it anyway.”

  “Want what?”

  He did not say a word, only grinned as he walked away. Before she could yell more he was around the corner.

  **********

  In math class Marie got a text message.

  TROUBLE: so you wanna prove that your not boring?

  She bit her lip as her pulse picked up pace.

  **********

  “Holy shit, I’m actually doing this!” Marie whispered.

  She crept down the stairs, passed her mother and father’s closed bedroom door, and went quietly to the front door where moonlight shown in through the window next to it. She looked back. The house was deathly quiet and dark. The clock against the wall told her it was close to midnight. She put her hand on the knob and took a deep breath.

  “Alright, this is it,” she whispered.

  She opened the door and rushed out, closing it silently behind her.

  She hurried quickly along the driveway out into the bare moonlight and the silent, chilly night. There was a shadow of a truck waiting at the bottom of the hill, and when she got closer she could hear the engine rumbling.

  “Look at you!” Travis said as she hopped in. “You’re a regular outlaw!”

  “Not so loud,” she whispered. “Where are we going?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  She glared at him.

  “I know you love it when I say that.”

  The radio was playing old rock music. Travis had rolled the windows down, and the wind blew gently through the truck as they traveled calmly through the streets of the estates. He sipped from a water bottle and Marie could easily smell the alcohol when the breeze brought it her way.

  “You’re drinking and driving?” she asked.

  “It’s fine,” he said. “I haven’t hardly drunk any.”

  Uneasily, Marie let him be. Soon enough they reached a dead end. The road led towards the end of the property of Crossfalls Estates, to a dock at the edge of the water on the lake and a few minutes away from any of the homes in the neighborhood. Out on the lake it was still, like the entire world had fallen asleep. Travis and Marie were the only two awake, and all the time that no one else wanted in the night was theirs.

  “Alright, you ready?” he said.

  “For what?”

  Marie’s body stiffened as he reached across her and into the glove compartment.

  What is he getting? What the hell is he doing?

  He pulled out a plastic bag with what Marie knew instantly was marijuana inside.

  “Oh my God, Travis, no,” she said, nervously.

  “Come on,” he said. “I thought you wanted to live on the wild side.” He pulled a tiny sheet of paper from his pocket. “I’ll roll the joint.”

  “Travis, I don’t know. What if a cop comes around here?”

  �
��Are there ever any cops that do patrol through here?”

  He was right. Marie had not seen so much as a security guard the whole time she’d lived there. In a minute he was done rolling the joint and rested it in between his lips. He whipped out a lighter and in seconds Marie could smell the strange scent of it, see its burning end brightly against the rest of the darkness around them. He held his breath and the smoke in, and then exhaled with a surprisingly relaxed and hypnotic demeanor. “You’re only this young once, pretty girl.”

  He handed the joint her way.

  She looked at his face and back at the joint.

  “This is so bad,” she said.

  She held it with her finger tips and put it to her lips. She had taken a few drags from a cigarette when she was sixteen, and she thought to apply the same concept to the weed. Immediately the smoke hit her lungs and throat and it burned – she coughed uncontrollably, a burst of smoke escaped her mouth as her eyes watered.

  When she could not stop coughing, Travis leaned forward and reached under the seat. He pulled out a water bottle and offered it to her.

  “Here, you should drink this.”

  “I don’t,” she coughed again, “I don’t need – vodka, Travis.”

  “It’s water.”

  He pulled off the lid and put it to her lips. Reluctantly, she forced herself to drink it, and it was in fact just water. It helped her coughing, and in the quiet, while she drank, Travis said, “I brought it for you. I figured you might need it.”

  He let her have the water bottle. She wiped her eyes and took in a few deep breaths.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  Travis laughed. “First timer.”

  She hit his shoulder and laughed with him for a little, but it made her cough more.

  “Here, here drink more,” he said, caringly putting the water bottle back to her lips.

  The night drifted forward. They finished the joint together, and after a few more puffs Marie adjusted to the smoke and her coughing lessened.

  “Is this what being high is like?” she asked.

  “How do you feel?” Travis said.

  “I don’t know. Really relaxed, I guess.” She ran her fingers along the cold glass of the truck’s window.

  “It’s different for everybody,” Travis said. “When I get high I just…” He looked away from her and out the window.

  “You just what?”

  “Nothing,” he said..

  “Come on tell me.”

  He looked back at her, into her eyes. He stared at her, and this time he didn’t look away. “I just stop feeling things for a while,” he said quietly.

  He slouched further in his seat, and Marie turned her body to face him. She took a few sips from the water bottle, the one half-full with peach flavored vodka. She felt that same freedom she had felt the night on the cliffs. Worries of the future were elsewhere; it was just her and Travis. She looked at him, while he gazed forward through the windshield into the night. He seemed happy now; the corners of his lips raised up in a slight way that maybe he was thinking about something hopeful out across the water.

  “I thought of something a few minutes ago,” she said.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “When you drove up into the parking lot, the day of the fight… you were going to buy the weed weren’t you.”

  He stretched out and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “Damn you’re smart.” He put a cigarette in between his lips and lit it.

  They were quiet. She watched him run his silver necklace through his fingers.

  He noticed her looking at him and the necklace. “My mom gave me this for my birthday when I was twelve.” He tucked it back underneath his white shirt. “Bout the last thing she ever gave me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Marie said. “What about your dad?”

  He sighed. “He left a long time ago.”

  “Oh,” she said, looking down. “Can I have another sip?”

  He handed her his water bottle.

  “What about you?” he asked. “What are your parents like? Other than on your ass all the time about going to college?”

  “That’s pretty much our relationship. My mom’s always on my ass and my dad, well he’s just kinda there.” She looked at him, and after a moment said, “Let me have a drag of that.”

  He handed her the cigarette with a smile. “You’re going off the deep end.”

  “Whatever.” She took in a drag of the cigarette; she took in the smoke easier than the weed. She exhaled slowly, and the smoke lingered with as much leisure as she felt in her own body. Everything about this night was wrong: the rules she was breaking, the laws she was breaking, but she was free.

  “What do you want to do? I mean for a job,” he said, swigging more vodka.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. I’m going to major in business to start off with, but I can always change it I guess.”

  “Sounds awesome,” he said in an uninterested tone.

  He yawned, and when he started stretching his muscles flexed and Marie saw his shirt rise up to reveal the bottom of his stomach. She stopped staring before he noticed and looked back out the window.

  “Is that what you want?” he asked. “Or is that what your mom wants?”

  She was quiet. “Well it’s definitely something my mom wants, and yeah, I guess I want it, too.”

  “If there was one thing in the whole world you could do what would it be? For a job – what would you do if you could do anything?”

  She shook her head and muttered, “It’s stupid.”

  “Come on. I’d be an actor.”

  She burst out in a laugh. “Actor! Seriously?”

  “Yeah, don’t be so mean. I mean, I don’t think I can act for shit but if by some magical way I had the chance to be on one of those TV shows I would totally do it.”

  “Like what show?”

  “I don’t know. One of those stupid family shows where stuff doesn’t seem so… .” He took a drink.

  “Seem so what?” Marie asked. “So bad?”

  “So real,” he answered. “Give me back my smoke.”

  He took back the cigarette and popped it in his mouth, but then he quickly took it out. “What is this, cherry?”

  “It’s my chap stick.”

  “Eh, here.”

  He gave her back the cigarette and lit another.

  “I hate cherry.”

  “Well I love cherry.”

  “Good thing we’re just friends then.”

  She grinned and asked, “So we’re friends again?”

  “Yeah… hopefully you’ll come with some benefits eventually.” He smirked.

  “You’re an ass,” she said, laughing.

  “Yeah, yeah. So what is it? What would you do for a job?”

  Marie groaned, “Oh fine. If I have to tell you, I’d be a singer.”

  “A singer? You sing?” He seemed excited about it.

  “No. At least not in front of people.”

  “What about in front of one person?”

  “No,” she said quickly.

  “Hey, who’s got two thumbs and wants to hear you sing?” He pointed at himself with his thumbs and made what Marie thought was the dumbest, beaming face - that made her melt inside. “You know I could play for you on the guitar. I learned some chords off the internet a few years ago. I only know one song but I can play it pretty damn great.”

  She smiled and said, “I think I should be getting back.”

  He paused, and suddenly his smile disappeared. Marie was tired, and he didn’t look tired at all, like he belonged out there in the night – never to sleep. “No,” he said softly.” He put his hand on hers. “Stay out with me.” He whispered so desperately, like Marie was the only thing that kept him existing, like he’d vanish if she were to leave. Or maybe, just maybe, despite all his cockiness and confidence, he was simply lonely.

  Marie sighed. Her mother was back at the house, and would be waki
ng up in a few hours. For all Marie knew she could wake up in that moment and check to see if Marie was in the house. She looked out the window and into the night. She would have stayed if she could, out there in the freedom of the night with Travis, but choice was an illusion to her.

  “No, I don’t have a choice, Travis. I need to go.”

  He looked at her, into her eyes. One side of his mouth drew back and he looked down for a moment, and Marie felt it – that he knew how powerless she felt against the life that had been chosen for her.

  “Alright,” he said.

  He drove them back to the bottom of the hill at Marie’s driveway.

  “Thanks for hanging out with me,” he said. “You’re a fun partier.”

  “Thanks for the weed,” she joked.

  “You know you owe me now, right? I mean, weed’s not free. It’s either cash, or a sexual favor.”

  She glared.

  He raised his hands up. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Don’t worry. You made it clear I’m not supposed to touch you.”

  He leaned against the window. The moon shown down on his skin, and she saw the way his white T shirt hung lazily on him. She caught his eyes roaming over her, taking their time when he was looking at her bare legs. She bit her lip. It was before her, a choice to go further, against her parents’ wishes, to go forward like a wave, fearless to crash against the shore.

  Why not, she thought. We’re only this young once.

  She moved to him and put her hands on his cheek, then put her lips to his, and they kissed. He grabbed her hips and moved her closer. She ran her fingers through the back of his hair. Her legs rested across his lap and his fingers were slipping under her shirt and onto her back. She stopped and pulled away. His eyes were glazed and his mouth still open, stunned.

  “I think I love cherry now,” he whispered.

  They laughed softly.

  “I should probably get back inside,” she whispered.

  She climbed off of him and opened the passenger door.

  “I want do this again,” he said as she got out.

  “Me too.”

  “Well when?”

  She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “Tomorrow night.”

  “Okay,” he said loudly.