The Nights Were Young Read online

  “Uh… life!” Travis slurred.

  “That’s it?” Brandon asked.

  “That’s all you fucking need, man,” Travis said.

  “Let’s just do it,” another boy yelled shakily.

  Then they all screamed in a kind of mumbled and drunken way, “Life!”

  Kate and Marie laughed.

  “That was the worst cheer in history!” Kate yelled.

  “Thank you, Kate,” Travis said. He held up his arm. “One… two…”

  Marie’s stomach dropped.

  Before he reached three, Travis sprang forward off the edge. The other boys followed him.

  The only one Marie watched was Travis. It was just him, this wild guy leaping out into the night – he hollered and howled all through his freefall, and then he landed into the water like the waves on the shore.

  Not long after, the boys climbed back up to the waiting girls and got dressed.

  Travis smiled and winked at Marie, and she blushed. He stood in front of her. “That was pretty cool huh?”

  “It was all right,” Marie said.

  “Oh God,” Kate groaned, drinking the rest of the beer.

  Kristen walked angrily to Travis and hit him in the chest.

  “That was stupid!” Kristen yelled.

  “Damn,” Travis said, rubbing his chest. “What’s your problem?”

  “I told you not to do that, and you did it, you ass!”

  “You don’t own me, Kristen.”

  He backed away from her, and then he pulled away when she tried to grab him.

  She stumbled back and threw her arms up, yelling, “We’re done Travis! You’re a dick, and I’m finished with you!”

  “We never even started, you psycho,” Travis said.

  He walked casually away from her. She grabbed his arm again. He swung around to yank it away, and when he started to walk backwards, he did not see that Marie was right behind him. He bumped into her then turned to see what he’d hit, but it was too late. Marie fell to the ground, taking him with her. They landed on the dirt, Marie leaning on her elbows and Travis on his hands and knees on top of her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to – you okay?”

  Marie was not hurt. She laughed and smiled at him. “I’m fine. It’s all right.”

  They stayed awkwardly how they had landed for a moment, and the tension was enough to make the others quiet. The one to break the silence was, of course, Kristen. She raced to Travis and picked him up. Marie got to her feet, and before she knew it the girl was in her face screaming.

  “How ‘bout you back off him, little girl!” Kristen barked.

  “Hey! Cut it out!” Travis yelled.

  He got in between Kristen and Marie, and he guarded Marie.

  “She’s your new girl now, huh?” Kristen asked.

  “Yeah, she’s my new girl! Lay off her!”

  Wait, what? Marie thought. His new girl? Her eyes widened and she couldn’t help but beam a little at his comment, whether he was serious or not, and she was sure he wasn’t serious.

  “Everyone shut up!” Brandon screamed.

  Silence – suddenly, they all noticed the red and blue flashing lights that were coming in through the trees. The cops.

  “Run!” Brandon yelled.

  Kate grabbed Marie by the hand and they, like the rest of the party, sailed back to their cars. It happened faster than she could think about it.

  Marie jumped into the passenger seat of Kate’s Oldsmobile then looked around to see where Travis was going. She saw him jump into the driver’s side of the old red truck. The next moment, Kate was already driving away from the cliffs, leaving the night behind them.

  “Won’t the cops chase us?” Marie asked.

  “No, they never do,” Kate said. “They always just check the area to make sure everyone leaves.”

  **********

  It was not until they arrived back at Kate’s house that Marie noticed she had one new message and several missed calls on her phone, all from her mother.

  MOM: Where are you?

  Marie checked the time; it was midnight. She changed out of the short shorts and T shirt and into jeans and a sweater that she had kept at Kate’s, to trick her mother into believing she had been at Stephanie’s all along. She spritzed on perfume, popped in some peppermint gum and quickly said goodbye to Kate. She sped home in her grey Mustang. She had never floored the accelerator before, never stretched out her own vehicle’s muscles to see how fast they would go, and they practically flew. Marie held her hand out the window as the Mustang zoomed past the fields of Kate’s neighborhood, over the roads in town and across the bridge and back to the quiet land of Crossfalls Estates.

  She quietly opened the front door of her parents’ house, and then closed it behind her the same way. There was one light on in the house, the hall light. She glanced at the clock that read 12:30, and she was about to make her way to the stairs when she caught her mother standing in the dark and watching her like a prison warden.

  “Holy shit,” Marie blurted out, startled.

  “Excuse me, young lady?” her mother scorned.

  “Sorry. I just – you scared me. Why are you standing in the dark?”

  “You don’t get to ask questions, Marie.” Her arms were folded and her eyes were like knives, unwavering in their glare on Marie’s face. “Would you like to tell me where you were tonight?”

  “Stephanie’s, I told you,” Marie answered, avoiding eye contact.

  “Just Stephanie’s? Huh? You didn’t go anywhere else?”

  “No,” Marie answered quickly. “Not at all. I swear.”

  Her mother stood silent and kept her eyes focused, sharply examining any hint of a lie on Marie’s face. “I’m going to trust that you didn’t do anything you’re not supposed to, because you’ve never behaved otherwise.” Luckily, her mother wasn’t standing close enough to smell the smoke that lingered in Marie’s hair. “But you are grounded.”

  “What? Why?” As far as her mother knew, Marie hadn’t done anything wrong and she was still getting punished.

  “Look at the clock, Marie. I said eleven tonight.”

  “I’m sorry --”

  “Just get in bed.”

  Marie stopped talking, realizing she’d gotten away with it, and she lowered her head and walked passed her mother to the stairs.

  Halfway up, her mother stopped her again.

  “Marie,” she said. “You know if you get involved with things – bad things, illegal things – it’ll ruin your life.”

  “I know, Mom.”

  “I don’t ever want you doing those things. You’re a better person than that. You’ve got college and a future to worry about, and things like that could mess everything up. You leave those things for the ones that have no future. Understand?”

  Marie thought back to the waves, and how she had felt like one earlier, heading towards the shore and ready to crash into freedom. Marie was beginning to boil with enough anger – she wanted to throw one of the pretty pictures down at her mother, but she was tied down with the obedience she felt to her. Her mother had given her life, and so her life was her mother’s to keep, to hold tightly, to tell her what to do… it was always this way – what Marie had been taught. Her parents were the gods of her world, and if Marie was a wave, they had the power to keep her from reaching the shore, to keep her out in the water where she would never move forward, never break, to remain painfully flawless in their eyes. Mistakes were not allowed, rebelling was not allowed… Marie’s freedom to live how she chose, to make mistakes like she wanted to – these were not allowed.

  “Yes ma’am,” Marie muttered.

  Marie quietly walked up the stairs and to her bedroom.

  She dressed for bed and then lay down, gazing out the window and into the night sky. It was clear, and the moon was nearly full. Kate was probably asleep by now, and she couldn’t imagine where the others ended up. She didn’t want to think about him, Travis, b
ut she couldn’t help but wonder where he went for the night – what was he doing? She was sure he was not thinking about her; he was much cooler than she was, and would be thinking about other girls, like Kristen who would kiss him with her tongue. He was probably still out in the night, running wild, and she could see him smile. She could almost imagine him gazing her way – but then she fell asleep.

  VI

  The shower water was like ice, and Marie stood motionless under it. The whiskey bottle was on the tile outside the shower, and Marie was beginning to sway and lean against the wet and slippery walls.

  She groaned, “I need to stop.”

  She got out, dried her hair, and hid the bottle in her closet behind a pair of heels in the corner. She avoided looking at the dresser – she couldn’t bear thinking about it. While she was zipping up her dress for the evening someone knocked on the door.

  “Marie?” It was her mother.

  Marie rolled her eyes, answering, “Hey, Mom.” She fought her voice from shaking.

  “Sweetie let me in. I want to help you get ready.”

  Marie trudged to the door and opened it. There stood her mother, pleasant as ever with a beautiful, conservative ensemble and a neat, symmetrical hairdo. If the Barbie Company had ever made a “perfect, respectable housewife” version of the doll, that’d be Marie’s mother, proudly wearing her beige dress and flats.

  “Oh honey, don’t wear that one,” her Mother said. “Wear the black one. This is a serious event.”

  “I don’t really want to wear black,” Marie muttered.

  “James is wearing black, dear. It would be good to match. Your father and I matched during all of his business parties.”

  Her mother maneuvered her way in and went straight to the closet where she picked up Marie’s black dress. Marie cringed at the sight of it. It was black enough for a funeral.

  Marie swallowed the lump in her throat and took the dress. She unzipped the blue one she had picked and slid it off. Then she hesitantly began sinking into her mother’s dress of choice.

  “Stop,” her mother said. She grabbed Marie and pulled her face close to hers. She sniffed. “Have you been – drinking?”

  Marie looked away and answered, “Yes, Mother.”

  “Oh for God’s sake the party hasn’t even started yet. Turn around.”

  Marie turned her back and her mother viscously zipped up the dress. It was tight, and it hurt her. It was hard for her to breathe.

  “I can’t believe you Marie,” her mother said. “God, it’s like high school again.”

  “It’s funny you should say that,” Marie said.

  “Why?” her mother asked, still busying with the dress, perfecting it.

  “Someone called.”

  “All right – anyone special?”

  “You remember Kate?”

  “Kate? Who’s Kate?”

  “She was that girl from high school you hated.”

  Her mother stopped - then continued, speaking quieter. “She called today did she?”

  “Yes. She… she told me some news.” Marie said, swallowing another lump in her throat. “You remember Travis?”

  It was obvious her mother remembered Travis. When Marie said his name her mother whirled her around and grabbed her by the shoulders.

  “Marie,” her mother said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but this isn’t the time to let it get to you. This is not the night to behave like – like a child. You’re already drunk --”

  “I’m not drunk,” Marie insisted.

  “Listen to me. I don’t care what Kate had to say and I don’t care one bit for that worthless boy who is in your past. He’s not here is he? He’s in your past! He didn’t go anywhere in life. Neither did Kate, or any of those wastes. But you know who is going somewhere? James. And it’s his night tonight, not theirs, so don’t you let it become any different. Understand?”

  Marie stared into her mother’s eyes, serious as death and unrelenting in their view. She nodded.

  “Good,” her mother said. “Now, the bartender is already here and a few people have already showed up. Let’s get some make-up on you.”

  It was like high school, and Marie hadn’t felt this way about her mother in years – her controlling, her ordering, and her deciding what was right for her. Her grip on Marie’s existence had always been there, but Marie had never felt it stronger than during two times in her life: when she knew Travis, and now on this night.

  As her mother searched through Marie’s sink drawers for make-up, Marie began to see it more clearly than she ever had. It wasn’t just her mother with a grip on her life; James had power over her. His house and his social status had power over her. But most of all, it was her fear of failure that had the most power. While her mother searched for make-up, Marie could have refused to let her touch her face with it, or she could have refused to wear that black dress. She could have refused to join the others at the party, and she could let herself feel the wave of grief that was heading towards the shores of her heart. She could cry and scream for him, for Travis… but no one else at the party knew anything of him.

  How could she explain it? How could she cry for a man she had not seen or spoken of once to anyone in seven years? They would not understand, and they would not care, and James would only be remembered as the employee with the unstable fiancé. If he could not control his home life, his fiancé, how could he control business? After all, life was about status, and his job was about image. Everything was about image. It was what her mother lived by, what her father lived by, what James lived by, an ideology she had no power over. Resisting her mother was failing, not being who James wanted her to be was failing, crying was failing, and she shivered nervously at the thought of being her mother’s and James’s shame.

  She hadn’t felt this way in years – dying to be free to feel, and dying to be free of those emotions because of their consequences. It was how she had felt in high school, and it was a battle she had given up, but it was a battle that was representing itself this night of the party whether Marie could bear it or not.

  “What colors should I put on?” Marie asked, hoping her mother’s voice would drown out her own thoughts.

  Her mother began talking about the make-up, and Marie stood still to let her put it across her face, and she kept her mouth shut.

  **********

  The bartender had set up his own, small table out on the patio. A handful of people had arrived, all of them friends from James’s office. Marie joined the party at the side of her mother, who was smiling so effortlessly. Marie had to keep remembering to seem happy. Her father was there and hugged her. James introduced her to a few of his work friends, and she immediately forgot their names.

  “Who hired the bartender?” Marie whispered to James.

  “Your mother did, a few days ago. She thought it would help keep things running smoothly. I didn’t tell you?”

  Marie shook her head. “It’s ok. I’m glad he’s here.”

  She sauntered onto the patio, where the tall, thin bartender waited alone.

  “How are you, Miss?” he said.

  “No one seems to want to talk to you,” Marie said.

  He smiled. “Well, it’s just the beginning and there are not too many people yet.” He had dimples in his smile, dimples like Travis had.

  “I need whiskey.”

  “Yes ma’am. Straight, or would you like it with something?”

  “I don’t care.”

  “There’s some sodas here if you’d--”

  “That’s fine,” she burst out, but she caught herself and breathed deep. She smiled at the bartender and lowered her voice, speaking like her mother would speak. “Anything with it will be fine.”

  He nodded, and while he was making the drink he noticed Marie’s staring at him.

  “Do I remind you of someone?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “Sorry. It’s just that you’re staring at me like I’m a ghost. I remind you of
someone don’t I?” he asked, handing Marie her drink.

  “Oh yes. Sorry. You do – someone I need to forget.” She took a gulp then walked back inside.

  The people were all laughing at something, so when Marie approached she started laughing along. All the while she gazed off into space. She couldn’t stop her thoughts. They drifted ceaselessly back in time, away from James and the laughing, nameless faces of the lonely party, back to Crossfalls…

  VII

  It was the day after the party by the cliffs. Marie did not speak much to anybody. Kate had texted her saying she felt sick from the night before and was not at school. Marie was exhausted herself, and barely made it through classes mindlessly.

  At her locker she was lazily setting in some book and taking another out when a voice spoke to her. She recognized it instantly, and some energy shot back into her.

  “So did you get in trouble?” Travis asked. He leaned against the locker next to hers, smiling and smacking on strong mint gum.

  Marie could not respond right away. He made her tremble as she took one of her text books from her locker. “Kinda,” she answered slowly, trying not to stutter.

  Travis was looking around the hall as he spoke to her, too cool to make eye contact. “Kate skipped out today. Brandon’s pretty mad because she doesn’t know how to handle a hangover.”

  “Yeah I know. She texted me and told me she felt bad.”

  “I’m surprised you’re not in bed.”

  “What? Why?”

  “A girl like you – a lightweight?” he said, smiling. “That’s surprising.”

  She shut her locker and kept her head down so she wouldn’t look at his eyes. “You don’t even know me,” she said, and she started walking towards class.

  She turned around for a moment to look back at him. He was still standing there, and he seemed surprised that a girl would simply walk away from him. He jumped forward, and by the time Marie turned back around he had caught up to her.

  “Well I’d like to get to know you,” he said.

  “Sure you would.” She rolled her eyes.