The Nights Were Young Page 18

  School resumed. Kate had a different lunch period then, and Marie never saw her except for passes in the hallway where not a word was said. Marie was alone. She ate alone at lunch. She studied alone in her room. She was alone when she would go to some place in town to get out of the house. She was alone.

  At times, before the sun would set she would find herself walking in the quiet of her neighborhood and coming to the dead end of the road that led to the boat dock. She would stop and stare out over the water. It hurt to be there when Travis was not, like she was sinking out in the waves she overlooked. She would wonder where he was, or what he was doing, if he was okay, or if he was hurting as much as she was. Sometimes she would pick up a rock and throw it in anger. He had left her in that cold world – alone; the fire Travis had brought her was gone now.

  He was gone, and he had never said goodbye.

  She looked out over the water and she knew…those nights were done.

  XXV

  Marie awoke in James’s house. Her head was throbbing. She looked around; she was in the living room on the couch. On her was the dress from the night before. There was a blanket on the floor next to her. She sat up; her eyes squinted in the glaring morning light that shown through a window. What had happened? And then she remembered. She remembered the party, the drinking, and the way James had looked at her as if he wished her dead. She remembered her mother had a similar expression. There was her guitar leaning against the end of the couch. She remembered the singing; she remembered the mess and the ruin of the evening. Her stomach was sore. She stood and walked slowly through the empty spaces of the house. James was not there; her mother was not there…everyone had gone.

  In the kitchen Marie took a few aspirin and noticed a note on the counter.

  Your mother and I have gone to get breakfast. Be back soon.

  Dad

  Marie rubbed her head. Where had James gone? There was no note from him, and when Marie thought of it she knew she preferred it that way. She remembered more…the phone call, Kate’s call. She sighed. Her chest was aching; the dress felt too tight, but she was too tired to take it off. She picked up her cellphone pieces from the bedroom and came back to the living room.

  She sat on the couch and put her phone and battery back together. She almost pressed the green call button next to Kate’s number, and then stopped herself. “Oh God,” she whispered.

  She raced to her bathroom and vomited. When she was done, she leaned against the wall next to the toilet, still and staring forward. Her mind slipped into the spaces of the house.

  Minutes later, she moved slowly back to the couch and sat. She got the phone and forced herself to press the green button. It rang…….and rang……..and rang…….and then…

  “Hello?” Kate answered.

  “Kate,” Marie spoke. Her voice was scratchy and a taste of stomach acid was in her mouth. “It’s me.”

  “Marie, hey. I was worried about you.”

  “I’m going to come – to the funeral.”

  “I’m glad to hear that Marie. I think it’s right that you should be there.”

  “Can I – can I call you for directions to the church when I get there? It’s just – it’s been so long since I’ve been down there and…”

  “Yes. Of course you can. When are you coming down?”

  Marie was tearing up. Her scratched voice was quivering. “I – I don’t know. It’s about a seven hour drive for me so I guess I’ll get there tonight. I’ll call you tomorrow okay?”

  “Marie wait. Please, if you want to stay with me and Joey you’re more than welcome to.”

  Marie chuckled a bit. “Joey, huh? From school?”

  “Yes,” Kate answered, “that’s the Joey.”

  “I’d like to stay with you.” Marie wiped some tears from her face.

  “Okay. Call me when you get to town.”

  “Thank you, Kate.”

  “Oh Marie, you need to bring something with you. Something you’d want Travis to have.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “There’s not going to be a body, Marie, so people are bringing objects to put in the coffin, things they would want Travis to have.”

  Marie thought about asking why there would be no body, but decided she would rather not know then. “Okay.”

  They said goodbyes. Marie was still for a few moments after she hung up.

  She finally forced herself up, showered, got dressed, and packed. She packed enough clothes and things for the trip, and she reluctantly packed another black dress, black enough for a funeral.

  She went into her closet and to the dresser in the corner. She knelt and opened the bottom drawer and saw it: a small jewelry box packed in the back. She had not opened it in years; she held her breath and lifted the top off…

  She saved Kate’s number into her cellphone. On the counter, next to her father’s note, she left her own message.

  Gone back to Crossfalls.

  Marie

  **********

  The drive felt short. Rolling hills and country led to more rolling hills and country as Marie continued south. The highway stretched as far as it would go, and then she entered another one that carried her further into the lands of her past. She did not stop to eat or drink. She stopped once at a rest stop to keep herself from collapsing into more tears. Her mother called her cell phone so much that Marie shut it off.

  She thought about what had happened after she left that town. She had gone to a school out of state. Her mother had told her how proud of her she was. Before Marie had come back for her first winter break, her parents had already moved away from Crossfalls. Marie heard about the town and the people sometimes through her mother, who was still speaking to Ms. Halliway, but she never saw it again until she was driving to it that day.

  She kept moving, and nearly seven hours later she passed a sign that read: WELCOME TO CROSSFALLS. Behind it the sun was setting.

  The town had grown. There were new subdivisions, new gated communities, new shops, and new restaurants. Traffic had increased; there were new stoplights and new convenience stores on the main road through town. The high school appeared the same, as if held in time – no better, no worse. The drive-in theatre had been abandoned. The top of the giant screen was tattered and ripped. Some of the metal panels around it were missing, and many were fallen down. Marie wondered how Travis’s old neighborhood looked. She was frightened to see it.

  She called Kate, and Kate gave her directions to their house. It was a few streets from the fairgrounds in a quiet, nice neighborhood. It was nothing like what she had lived in during high school. It was a grounded home, one story, made of bricks, with a pretty yard in front and a mini-van in the driveway. Marie stopped on the side of the street.

  Kate came out of the house and stopped when she saw her. She looked like an older version of the girl Marie knew seven years ago, though her fashion style was much more conservative now.

  “Oh my God! Marie!” Kate ran to her.

  Marie was overcome. She dropped her bags and ran. They embraced each other. Marie was gripping her so hard that she was wrinkling her shirt. Kate was tearing up.

  “It’s been so long,” Kate said.

  Marie did not say a word. When Kate pulled back and looked at her it seemed as if Kate was at a loss of words, too.

  “You look great,” Kate said.

  Marie just breathed – she could not say anything. Kate saw it.

  “Alright, come on,” Kate said.

  She helped Marie with her bags and they went inside.

  **********

  Marie and Kate sat on the back porch on a swing. On the porch table were dinner plates; Marie’s still had much of her spaghetti on it. Kate’s two children were jumping on a trampoline in the backyard. Joey was sitting in a wooden rocking chair next to Marie and Kate. He had gained weight since Marie saw him last, and his hair was gone.

  “Marie is gonna be three in August,” Joey said, pointing to his daughter on the
trampoline, “and Joey Jr. is gonna be five in January.”

  “They’re beautiful kids,” Marie said.

  “They’re the best parts of my life,” Joey said. He touched Kate’s hand, “Right after this one.”

  Kate smiled at him.

  “So, you guys have stayed together since school?” Marie asked.

  They nodded.

  “Yeah,” Kate said. “I knew I was in love with this jerk and didn’t want anyone else.”

  Joey laughed and Kate kissed him on the cheek.

  “I popped the question about two years after we graduated,” Joey said.

  Marie smiled. “That’s great.”

  They became silent. Kate looked at Joey and nodded towards the house, and he stood up, knowing what to do.

  “Come on kids,” Joey said. “Gotta get ready for bed.”

  Kate’s children whined, but they were obedient and trudged to the door. Joey led them inside, and then it was just Kate and Marie. They were quiet, staring forward into the night.

  Finally, Marie spoke. “Kate,” she said, “I’m really sorry for the way things…ended.”

  Kate shook her head and spoke kindly. “Sweetie, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. We were young, and it’s in the past now.”

  “I said some really hurtful things to you-”

  Kate raised her hand. “Marie, it is in the past. You’re here now, and that’s what matters.”

  Marie smiled. They became quiet again. There were crickets singing in the yard, and the wind was blowing softly through wind chimes hanging on one of Kate’s trees.

  “The last thing I heard about Travis,” Marie said, “was that he had gotten arrested. It was about a year after I left. My mother told me.”

  Kate nodded quietly.

  “My mother said that I had dodged a bullet by letting that waste of a man go.” Marie shook her head and breathed deep. “And that’s it. That’s the last I knew of him.” She looked at Kate. “What happened to him, Kate? Where did he go?”

  Kate looked at Marie, then forward again. Marie could see it hurt her to talk about it, just like it hurt Marie to hear it.

  “When he ran away,” Kate said, “he went and stayed with his dad for a while. But… things weren’t good for him there either. His dad was about as messed up as he was, so it didn’t take him long to come back. And when he did get back, that’s when they arrested him for the drugs and stuff. He just – never stopped selling them, or doing them.”

  Kate took a moment to breathe.

  “Do you want a cigarette?” Kate asked.

  Marie nodded.

  Kate went into the house and returned with a pack of cigarettes. She lit one and handed them to Marie.

  “I don’t smoke all the time,” Kate said. “Especially not with having Marie and Joey Jr. It’s just – been hard.”

  Marie lit hers and remarked, “My mother would kill me for this.”

  “Hey,” Kate said, “we’re only human, Marie.”

  “Yeah, that’s something she’s never accepted.”

  Kate exhaled smoke then kept talking. “Travis spent a few months in jail. When he got out, he said he wanted to change. He knew he had to change, so uh – he got into a treatment program. It wasn’t easy. He relapsed a few times, but he did it, Marie. He cleaned up, and he didn’t have a drop of liquor… for the rest – the rest of his life.” Kate choked on the last part of her sentence. She wiped her eyes. “He started working for a construction company here in town and started making good money. He bought himself a place on the outskirts, and then –” She looked at Marie. “He… met a nice girl.”

  Marie swallowed a lump in her throat. She took another drag and looked forward.

  “Her name was Jenny,” Kate said. “She’s a really sweet girl.”

  “Did they have children?” Marie asked.

  “Yeah, a baby girl. She’s only two. They named her Lauren.”

  “An ‘L’ name,” Marie said.

  Kate took a drag. “Yeah, an ‘L’ name. Sometimes I thought about asking Travis if that meant anything, but I never did.”

  Marie shut her eyes. The wind chimes were still singing softly in the breeze – the gentle breeze that was coming and carrying things away.

  “Were they happy?” Marie asked. “Was he happy?”

  Kate nodded. “Yeah, Marie. He was really, really happy with her.” Her voice broke and she started to cry. “He was really happy with his daughter. You should’ve seen him, Marie. He was so different than you’d remember him. He was a good man. He uh – even got his mom to go to the program that he had gone to.”

  “Did she get better?”

  “Sober for two years now. She even started going to church with him and Jenny.”

  “Travis went to church?” Marie asked in surprise.

  “I told you he was different than you’d remember.” Kate coughed and wiped more tears away. She was calming down. “He would talk about you, sometimes, when Jenny wasn’t around. About a month ago he came over to play poker with Joey, and was helping me do dishes, and then he started talking about you.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He was just wondering where you were, and how you might have been.” Kate looked at her. “He never forgot about you, Marie. And I don’t think he ever stopped loving you.”

  Marie was quiet, but her voice rose fast as she spoke. “I never stopped loving him, either. I loved him, Kate. I loved him and I never told him. I never – I never helped him, and I wasn’t there for him and he needed someone!”

  Marie was bawling. Kate held her head on her shoulder.

  “I missed him so much!” Marie cried.

  “I know, I know,” Kate said softly.

  “And I thought about him every day. Every damn day.”

  Kate stroked her hair.

  “It’s not fair!” Marie cried. “It’s not fair!”

  After a minute, she calmed down. They put their cigarettes out and Marie laid her head in Kate’s lap. They looked silently into the night. The stars were out, and somewhere up in them may have been Travis.

  “How did he die?” Marie asked.

  Kate took a deep breath. “It was a car accident. He was on the highway when he came up to a traffic jam. In the lane next to him there was this mother and her kids, and further back on the road an eighteen-wheeler was coming.”

  “Oh God,” Marie whispered.

  “The brakes on the rig gave out before the driver had a chance to stop.”

  Marie shut her eyes tight.

  “The newspaper said witnesses saw Travis look back and forth several times at the mom and her kids, and then at the eighteen-wheeler… and then he drove into the other lane behind her, in between her and the rig. The driver swerved, but it was too late. He ran over Travis, and then he hit the mom and her kids.”

  “Were they all right?”

  “Yes. Travis’s car took most of the momentum, so they all lived.”

  Marie opened her eyes.

  “His body was too mangled to save,” Kate said. She put out another cigarette. “That’s why people are putting objects into the coffin instead.”

  “That’s terrible,” Marie whispered.

  Kate nodded. “It is. It really is. But that’s what happened, and we can’t change that. We can’t change the past, Marie.”

  “I should’ve chosen so differently,” Marie said softly. “I should’ve chosen to stay friends with you, Kate, and I should’ve—”

  “Marie stop it,” Kate interrupted. “We’re still friends. Look at us; we’re here now, together. What happened – happened, but you’re here now.”

  “But it’s not the same, Kate,” Marie said. “It’s not the same. Because tomorrow, after the – after the funeral, I’ll just go back to my life, and you’ll go back to yours. I should’ve chosen differently, and then maybe I wouldn’t have to go back to that.”

  Kate sighed and ran her fingers through Marie’s hair.

  “I know you’re not
happy,” Kate said. “But you don’t have to stay that way, Marie. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it doesn’t matter where you are, or how old you are, or how settled you are. You can always choose to live differently.” She paused and said softly, “Travis taught me that. He knew that Marie; he knew it well, and it’s true.”

  “Am I terrible for wishing I would’ve chosen him?” Marie asked. “If I had chosen him I would’ve been with him.”

  “He knew how you felt about him,” Kate said. A soft breeze went through the air and the wind chimes sounded. “Trust me, he knew, and you both had your time together, and I think – I think that’s all we can ask for in this life. Sometimes people come into our lives, and it’s only for a short time, but you love them – and we’re meant to love them. And, and it’s hard to accept, but I think that not everyone we love is meant to stay, not forever.”

  Marie wiped a tear from her cheek. “I think you’re right.”

  “Do you regret your time with him?” Kate asked.

  “Not at all,” Marie answered quickly. “I wouldn’t trade it back for anything. My time with him was, was the best of my life.”

  “So far, Marie,” Kate corrected her. “The best of your life so far, remember that. You’ve still got a lot of life left to live.”

  Marie closed her eyes, and she thought about Travis the moments before he died. She could see him, the only way she could imagine him, young like when she had known him. He was in his truck, on that highway. He saw the mother and her kids next to him, and the speeding danger barreling down the road. He must have known that what we did would kill him, and Marie could only imagine what thoughts ran through his mind in his final moments. She wondered if his life flashed before him. Was he thinking of someone? Of Jenny? Of his daughter? Of Marie? She could see him close his eyes as the eighteen-wheeler closed in on him – he was at peace, with his decision to sacrifice his life. He turned and looked at Marie – those dark, brown eyes; they were content. His mouth moved, and Marie could hear his voice gently say… “Goodbye, pretty girl.”