The Nights Were Young Page 15

  It was cold, and her stomach was churning, and she could feel herself losing him.

  The rain had stopped, leaving everything damp and frigid while she drove home. When she turned the corner in Crossfalls Estates, she arrived on her street. The lake was out in the distance, and she stopped in the middle of the road when she saw Travis’s truck. It was parked at the bottom of the hill, on the side of the road in front of her parent’s house.

  Marie parked behind it, and out came Travis. He had changed shirts, a plain white T, and he smiled through a beaten face. He was holding something behind his back.

  Marie stepped out and approached him.

  “Hey,” he said softly.

  “Wh-what are you doing here?” she asked nervously. He wasn’t supposed to be there; her mother might see him at any moment.

  “I figured I owed a payback surprise at your place since you keep surprising me at mine,” he said, smiling with cracked, punched lips. “Plus, I uh… still wanted to give you that something special.”

  “Travis, I --”

  He revealed what he was holding: three yellow flowers, lilies, and a thin, silver chain wrapped around them.

  “It took me a while to save up for this,” he said. “They’re lilies, your favorite.”

  She looked at the flowers and smiled. “I know.”

  She took them from him and smelled them. She slipped the chain off their stems and let it hang from her finger-tips. Hanging from it was a charm, a silver music note.

  “I saw it at the mall when I was skipping class a while back,” he said casually.

  She sighed and laughed a little. Travis was sweet, but he was still Travis.

  “Let me put it on for you,” he said.

  She turned around. He gently moved her hair over her neck and slid the chain around it. Marie caressed the music note in between her fingers.

  “Took about three jobs at that construction company to save up the money for this,” he said.

  “I like it,” she said.

  She turned to him; she ran her fingers along his jaw and looked at his swollen eye.

  “So I’m suspended for the rest of the week again,” he said.

  The thoughts of what had happened earlier came back into her mind. She hit Travis in the chest. “What the hell was that with Brandon today?” she demanded.

  He stepped back in surprise. “Ouch! Don’t worry about it.”

  “Damn it. Do you want to get kicked out of school?”

  “Marie, come on.”

  “You acted like an ass,” she scolded. “Brandon was just trying to look out for me.”

  “Really? Then why don’t you have sex with him then?”

  She paused for a moment. “You are an ass.”

  “I actually did something nice for you and you’re mad at me?” he asked. Then he mumbled. “I feel drinking now.”

  She became silent.

  Travis slapped his forehead. “Marie… I --”

  “Don’t talk anymore,” she interrupted, and she looked away from him. “You know, I’m tired of worrying about you all the time.”

  “What the hell does that mean? Marie I told you I was gonna change.”

  “Oh yeah and the first thing you do is beat the hell out of Brandon?”

  He raised his hands. “Yeah, well guess what? I haven’t even had a cigarette all day.”

  “That’s not the point,” she said.

  “I don’t get it. I’m stopping drinking for you,” he said as he started pacing.

  “Don’t do it for me,” she said. “Do it for yourself.”

  He stopped, and he kept looking down.

  Marie took a deep breath.

  “You’re a better reason,” he said quietly.

  Marie’s mother pulled up behind them in her car. Marie quickly looked at the flowers in her hands then back at her mother, immediately seeing the cold, angry expression on her face.

  She swung around and looked at Travis in panic and warned him, “You should probably go.”

  He looked away and frowned. “How can you tell me what I do is wrong, when you can’t even stand up to your mother for what makes you happy?”

  “Travis…”

  Marie’s mother stepped out of the car. “What’s going on?” she demanded harshly.

  Marie didn’t turn around to face her. “You remember Travis, Mom?”

  “Yes I do,” her mother said.

  “Nice to see you Mrs. Wrangler,” Travis said.

  He held up his palm and waved.

  Marie’s mother did not return the greeting. “It looks like you’ve had a rough day, Travis. You should probably head home.”

  Marie closed her eyes. Even if her mother knew what he went home to, she would still send him away.

  “Is that what you want?” Travis whispered to Marie. “You want me to leave?”

  She looked at him helplessly.

  “Come with me,” he whispered. “We can go anywhere you want.”

  She hung her head. She couldn’t look him in the eye. “No.”

  He shook his head. He moved closer to her and put his forehead against hers. “Don’t choose this, pretty girl,” he whispered. “Don’t choose to be lonely for the rest of your life.”

  He took one last look at her mother, then got into his truck and sped off out of the neighborhood.

  Marie turned and stood cowardly in front of her mother, who glared in return.

  “Help me with the groceries,” her mother ordered in a low tone, and then she got back in her car and left Marie at the bottom of the hill.

  Marie took a deep breath. The day felt colder.

  XXI

  Marie set the last sack of groceries on the kitchen counter. Her mother was silent as she took things out of their bags and placed them neatly in cabinets. Marie stood against the counter, waiting for her to say something; she was certain that her mother had something to say.

  “You know you’ll have to get rid of those flowers,” her mother said.

  Marie glanced at the flowers Travis had given her. They lay dry on the kitchen table. She finally spoke. “Why?”

  “Your father is allergic,” her mother said, and she kept busy putting away groceries, kept moving as to not look Marie in the face.

  “When did he become allergic to flowers?” Marie asked abruptly.

  “He’s allergic to lilies,” her mother said louder. “He has been since the day he was born.”

  “No he’s not,” Marie defied.

  Her mother slammed down a can of soup on the counter. Her fingers gripped it tight; Marie could see a vain in her hand straining under the pressure. “Don’t start, Marie.”

  “I’m not starting anything. Look at me.”

  Her mother looked up with angry, cold eyes.

  “Is he allergic to lilies?” Marie asked.

  Her mother glared at her for moments that Marie barely endured. She was lying, and Marie was sure of it.

  “It doesn’t matter,” her mother said. “There’s no place for them here. Throw them away.”

  Marie hung her head and looked at the flowers. “You don’t even know him,” she said under her breath.

  “What was that, young lady?” her mother raised her voice.

  “You don’t even know him,” Marie said louder.

  “Don’t you dare raise your to voice to me.” Her mother was stern, but Marie could sense something else about her; she seemed afraid.

  “Why do you hate Travis so much?”

  “I don’t hate him,” her mother said. “I hate that you’re choosing him.”

  “But you don’t even know --”

  “I don’t even know him? Is that right? Marie, I know him better than you do. He’s the boy who got suspended for fighting right? The fight that he got you involved in?”

  “He was protecting me.” Marie’s blood pumped faster, and her hands were shaking.

  “Maybe that’s what you think, Marie. What about his face today, huh? Did he get into another fi
ght?”

  Marie looked to the left and right for words that did not come.

  “I know what boys like that are like Marie. Trust me, I knew a boy from my high school that was just like Travis. He was the rebel, too, and I felt the same way about him that you do with this one. But you know what? Turns out all he was, was a…”

  Her mother looked away towards the window.

  “Was a what?” Marie asked.

  “I thought I was in love once, too, Marie.”

  “I’ve never said anything about love.”

  “Good,” her mother said fast. “Because you’re just a passing fling for him. You’re both just passing flings for each other.”

  “For the last time, Mom, you know nothing about him.”

  “Ms. Halliway talks about him. She said you two hang around each other in the halls. And I always let it slide, always, because I thought my daughter was too good to talk to some second rate person like him. But it turns out she’s right! You know what she’s told me about him?”

  “I don’t care what she’s said about him,” Marie sighed.

  “That’s fine, but I do, and I know I don’t want my daughter steering her life in the same direction as the trailer trash who can’t seem to stay out of trouble.”

  Marie’s mouth opened in surprise, though she didn’t know why it had surprised her that her mother called Travis what everyone else called him.

  “Plus… I don’t think it’s right of you to lead him on,” her mother continued.

  “What does that mean?”

  “I haven’t seen that necklace before. Did he give that to you?” her mother asked, sharply eyeing the chain around Marie’s neck.

  Marie grabbed at the music note charm hanging from the chain. “Yes.”

  “Then he must like you a lot to buy you something like that.”

  “What’s your point, Mother?”

  “Are you planning on being with him for a while, or do you want one of the schools you’ve applied to? You’re going to be moving away Marie, so why bother wasting your time with this boy when there’s no future with him?”

  Marie was furious, and the desire to scream was boiling in her. She wanted to say everything she had done with Travis just to see her mother further upset. She wanted her mother to cry, to apologize, and see the world in any other way than she saw it. Her mother was hard and cold, and there were no emotions in her other than those she forced. Marie stared out the window into the grey sky, and her mother went back to putting away groceries. She didn’t know why she asked it, but she did. “Are you even happy with Dad?”

  Her mother froze. “What kind of question is that?”

  “Are you?”

  Her mother closed the cabinet door and folded her arms. “I am very happy with your father, Marie. I love him.”

  “Do you? Or do you just love that your life is safe and comfortable since he’s bringing in a good paycheck?”

  Her mother remained still.

  “I mean,” Marie continued, “you hardly talk to each other, even when you’re in the same room…” Marie stopped. She could already hear the words she was going to say and felt the dread of their consequences. “Do you think he even really loves you?”

  Her mother’s eyes widened and her body tightened. She stared at Marie for seconds. Her expression was furious, but her eyebrows curved and her mouth dropped into a frown – she was hurt. Before her expression broke further, she turned her back on her daughter and opened the cabinets to move around more things that did not need moving.

  “I’m sorry, I --” Marie started.

  “Go away,” her mother said with a shaky voice.

  “Mom, I didn’t mean --”

  “Get away from me. Go.” Her mother screamed with a hoarse voice.

  Marie picked up the flowers, and she wanted to leave but something kept her there. “His mother…”

  Marie’s mother sighed and put her hands on the counter. She slouched; Marie had never seen her mother so physically uncomfortable.

  “His mother is really bad to him,” Marie said. “Travis, Mom. His mother is really bad to him. I think she drinks all the time, and he… look, Mom, I don’t know what to do about it.”

  Her mother burst out in a quick laugh. She turned around, and Marie could see she had been holding back crying. Her eyes were red and a few tears stained her cheeks. She looked at Marie, stern and desperate. “You shouldn’t do anything, Marie,” she said. “That’s his life, not your life. That’s not your problem, and if it comes to it,” her mother paused and cleared her throat, and she spoke low. “I will do everything in my power to make sure it stays that way. Do you understand?”

  Her mother walked forward and put her hands on Marie’s shoulders. “I love you, Marie, and I’m doing this to protect you. You will eventually leave this town, do you understand me? And he’s not going, so what are you doing? Think about that… what are you doing, Marie?”

  Marie looked away from her. Her stomach felt sick, and she didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to see her mother like this, and for the first time she wished she had never started any of this. She softly pushed her mother’s hands off of her and left the kitchen.

  Upstairs, Marie put the flowers on her bed. There were tears in her eyes as she looked in the mirror, holding the music note between her fingers.

  What am I doing? she thought.

  She would be leaving eventually, just like her mother said, and Travis would not be going with her.

  What am I doing?

  Travis had problems, but Marie had allowed them to continue. How many nights had she let him drive away after swigging for hours from his booze-filled water bottle?

  What am I doing?

  Maybe her mother was right. Being with him felt right, but was there truly a future there? Could she spend the rest of her life with him if it came to that choice? It would be difficult. Her world, the world of her mother, was a world not meant for people like him; it was the only world Marie had known. Travis lived somewhere else, somewhere wild and boundless, and Marie could not see herself surviving in such a place. She felt passion for him, but even from the beginning her logic had been against it, and she felt the logical weight heavier now than it had ever been since she had seen him for the first time in the cafeteria. He was a dream, and come the time that she would leave Crossfalls she would wake up. Her mother was right.

  “I shouldn’t be doing this,” she said.

  XXII

  Hands moved over Marie’s eyes, and she could not see.

  “Guess who?” Travis whispered.

  Marie sighed. She turned around and he lowered his hands. They were in the parking lot at school, walking towards the building. It was Monday, and class would start any minute.

  “What happened?” he asked. “I’ve been texting you all week. Did you get any of them?”

  “Yeah, I just… had a lot of stuff to deal with,” Marie said.

  “Was your mom mad?”

  “We fought.” Marie thought back to the weekend. Her mother had avoided her, and Marie never apologized. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Okay,” he said. “You want to hang out tonight? It’s been a while, if you know what I mean.” He grinned.

  “I can’t,” she answered. “I’ve got stuff I need to work on.”

  Travis was surprised. He shook it off and leaned in closer. “Are you okay?” he asked softly. “What’s up? You can tell me.”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said. “I’ve just… got a lot on my mind right now.”

  “You mean about us?” His tone was defensive.

  “Don’t worry about it, Travis.”

  “Alright, whatever. I just noticed that you weren’t wearing the necklace, that’s all.”

  Marie touched the spot on her chest where the necklace would have been. It was in her bedroom. She had taken it off and placed it in her desk drawer, secretive and safe from her mother.

  “What about the lilies?” Travis asked. “Y
ou get rid of those, too?”

  Marie could not bring herself to throw them away, but she could not bring herself to place them in the open. They were in her closet, leaned against the wall in the corner. “I didn’t get rid of them, Travis.”

  “What did I do?” he asked. “Was it ‘cause I fought Brandon? Is that why you’re mad?”

  “I’m not mad. I just --”

  “I still haven’t drank, not since you told me not to.”

  “That’s good,” Marie said.

  He rambled fast. “I mean I’ve smoked a little bit, but just cigarettes. I’m trying Marie, I’m really trying. You know I can’t just make your mom like me, and it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”

  “Travis, please.” Marie put her hand on his chest and looked into his eyes. She wanted to say something that would change their situation, that would change her lack of courage. “I have to get to class.”

  She almost kissed him, but stopped herself and began walking away.

  “Why can’t you be around me anymore?” he asked. “You’re starting to see you’re too good for me? Is that it? You don’t even want to think about me?”

  Marie turned quickly around and marched back to him. “I think about you every damn day, Travis! You make me feel, something… that no one else ever has.” She realized her own emotions as she spoke them. “… but you also make me hate everything more than anyone else ever has, whether you mean to or not.”

  She paused again and looked away from him, because she could not handle the somber gaze of his dark eyes another second. “I think about you every day, and that’s why I can’t be around you.”

  She stood a moment longer, and then she turned and walked away from him as fast as she could.

  **********

  Marie took a deep breath and walked forward down the hall. She did not know what she was going to say, but she wanted to say something to him. The school day was over. Travis was at his locker, on his phone, and he seemed intensely interested in whoever he was talking to. Marie had thought about it. She would face him this time. She got close to him.